Hi, I am Dr Psychiatrist. I see here that Dr. Eric Allen . . Bell referred you to me?
-That is right, but he is not a doctor.
Oh? Is he your father, or family member?
-No.
I don’t understand; who is he then?
-Well, he is . . . uh . . he … I don’t really know who he is.
Who does he tell you he is?
-He tells me he is god.
Uh-huh. Go on.
-He told me I made the moon.
Yes.
-That’s it. I don’t really know anything about him.
Let me clear something up. Has anyone else seen him?
-Yes. He has been on TV.
-Robert Spencer said he is nuts.
-Pamela Geller said he was a depraved liar.
-Mark Humphreys said he was maybe just a loon.
-David Christopher said Eric was religiously bigoted, and delusional.
It sounds like you actually know quite a bit about him.
-Yes, it is coming back to me now. There was also the bounty. Ali Sina said the bounty was crazy.
Tell me about the bounty.
-Eric Allen Bell claimed that there was a bounty for ten million rupees on his head, except, the numeral on the bounty was one quadrillion. He got everyone to see the numeral one quadrillion as ten million.
And, now he has gotten you to visit a psychiatrist.
-Ohh, I feel like I am coming out of a fog.
Right. Do you have any mental health issues right now?
-No. Except for a tonsillectomy, and an appendectomy I have enjoyed perfect health.
Is there any history of mental illness in your family?
-No, come to think of it, none, at all.
OK. Here is my professional opinion. Your problem is Eric Allen Bell; you need to avoid him. He has too much control over you. Are you in a cult be any chance?
-No, no I am not in a cult.
Look, I don’t know what his mental condition is, but you, sir, might just be crazy for listening to Eric Allen Bell. Does that make sense?
-A great deal of sense, doctor. That was well put. I feel much better. Thank you for helping me.
-That is right, but he is not a doctor.
Oh? Is he your father, or family member?
-No.
I don’t understand; who is he then?
-Well, he is . . . uh . . he … I don’t really know who he is.
Who does he tell you he is?
-He tells me he is god.
Uh-huh. Go on.
-He told me I made the moon.
Yes.
-That’s it. I don’t really know anything about him.
Let me clear something up. Has anyone else seen him?
-Yes. He has been on TV.
-Robert Spencer said he is nuts.
-Pamela Geller said he was a depraved liar.
-Mark Humphreys said he was maybe just a loon.
-David Christopher said Eric was religiously bigoted, and delusional.
It sounds like you actually know quite a bit about him.
-Yes, it is coming back to me now. There was also the bounty. Ali Sina said the bounty was crazy.
Tell me about the bounty.
-Eric Allen Bell claimed that there was a bounty for ten million rupees on his head, except, the numeral on the bounty was one quadrillion. He got everyone to see the numeral one quadrillion as ten million.
And, now he has gotten you to visit a psychiatrist.
-Ohh, I feel like I am coming out of a fog.
Right. Do you have any mental health issues right now?
-No. Except for a tonsillectomy, and an appendectomy I have enjoyed perfect health.
Is there any history of mental illness in your family?
-No, come to think of it, none, at all.
OK. Here is my professional opinion. Your problem is Eric Allen Bell; you need to avoid him. He has too much control over you. Are you in a cult be any chance?
-No, no I am not in a cult.
Look, I don’t know what his mental condition is, but you, sir, might just be crazy for listening to Eric Allen Bell. Does that make sense?
-A great deal of sense, doctor. That was well put. I feel much better. Thank you for helping me.