"Indispensible to Tibetan Buddhism"

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Many people left. Rigpa paid a very expensive professional agency in Paris, specialising in crisis communication, to train a few spokesmen, including myself, to respond to the allegations of sexual harassment and financial abuse. We were advised not to answer questions, but rather to endlessly repeat certain key phrases – and to quote the Dalai Lama as much as possible for moral support.

Q: The Dalai Lama clearly says (in “Ethics in the Teacher-Student Relationship” , 1993; Healing Anger, Snow Lion, 1997 pp. 83-85) that the abusive behaviour of masters must be exposed publicly and explicitly. Why has he not reacted himself?

My hypothesis is that he cannot discredit Sogyal publicly, because it would undermine Tibetan Buddhism. Sogyal Rinpoche has managed to make himself indispensable in the Tibetan community.

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I stayed all these years despite my reservations, because I hoped Rigpa would be able to share profound wisdom with the greatest number of people, which would benefit society as a whole. But it became more and more difficult to invite people to his teachings, because his behaviour became impossible at times — pretentious, even in public. I had begun to write my first book, to illustrate how authentic Buddhist wisdom can be open to the world, adapted to the west, and conforming to humanist ideals.
Beginning with the article in “Marianne,” I felt the tension ratchet up a notch within the Rigpa leadership. All the secrecy and manipulation of information weighed heavily on me. I had come for teachings on humility, love, truth, and trust, and I found myself in a quasi-Stalinist environment and permanent double-talk. His dictatorial side and anger worsened and I was increasingly disturbed by it. He did not hesitate to brutally silence and ridicule people in meetings. Critical thinking is prohibited around him — the door is locked. Negative feedback never reaches him — only praise is reported because people in the close circle are afraid of him. It can make him angry or he would humiliate those close to him. He can also be friendly and full of humour if everything conforms to his wishes.
In the summer of 2014, during a retreat for the older students I made my decision to leave because I saw through him clearly — I saw his falsity. He demanded abundant offerings, specifically in cash, in front of 800 students. Each had to write their name on the envelope, so that he could check the amount.
There is also increasing control over regular students. They are made to feel guilty if they do not come to retreats. There is a lot of pressure — the Rigpa computer database identifies participants in retreats, practices, past meetings, etc. If a student does not attend, it must be justified – if a student leaves in the middle of a teaching, someone has to find them and ask why. This has driven a lot of people away.

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MS says:
March 14, 2016 at 2:29 pm
I was a member of Rigpa. I left because when I asked questions about the allegations that Sogyal Rinpoche abused women students, I never received an answer and the way I was dealt with made me feel more and more uncomfortable. I began to feel I was in a cult. One of the most cultish things was when they got me to have a one to one with an instructor who thanked my for sharing my perspective and then tried to make me look at why I was asking the questions instead of providing answers. She said she didn’t know anything about Sogyal Rinpoche’s private life. It felt like I was the one who was doing something wrong. I didn’t think so. If you can go on YouTube and see a young woman say to camera that Sogyal Rinpoche unexpectedly ordered her to undress and she felt she had to do it to prove her devotion, I think any reasonable person will have questions about that and that’s just one of the questionable things out there.

What was a revelation to me, reading Olivier Raurich’s account, is the training he he describes being given in how to deal with questions about sexual harassment. He says he and others were trained by a very expensive expensive crisis communication agency not to answer the questions, but just to keep repeating key phrases and using the Dalai Lama’s name as much as possible. I was in Rigpa in a different country, but I totally recognise this approach having seen it in operation during my last period in Rigpa. I was told on several occasions that the Dalai Lama supports Sogyal Rinpoche and it was clear that I was supposed to conclude from this that all the allegations are false. Does the Dalai Lama know that this is how he is being used?

I knew I was being deceived, I could feel the manipulation and the attempt to control me, but I had no idea that behind this there was a public relations strategy devised by highly paid consultants which was specifically devised to deflect questions and prevent anyone finding the truth. I think this is a disgrace. The conclusion I came to, even before reading Olivier Raurich’s account, is that something rotten is being hidden. We deserve better than this.

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MS says:
March 15, 2016 at 10:26 am
I don’t know why it took Olivier Raurich nearly 30 years to leave, but I do understand how this can happen. Olivier is not the only long-term student who eventually left.

This is what I saw happening over 10 years. The authoritarianism was slowly ratcheted up. There was no critical discussion at all, so problems festered under the surface. Secrets were well kept, even from long-term members. Demands for money increased. Teachings on Guru Yoga got more extreme. We were monitored as part of ’sangha care’ with information kept in a database, but some of the information could only be entered by instructors who had interviewed us or administrators. I can understand how a long-term student might begin to feel trapped, but by then many years have gone by. What to do then?

All long term students belong to something called the Dzogchen Mandala. This is what Rigpa currently says to those joining the Dzogchen Mandala, “The key essential point is this: by becoming a member of the Dzogchen Mandala, you pledge to follow all of Rinpoche’s instructions, to the best of your ability, for the rest of your life.”

The problem is that this is a pledge made by people who don’t know what is going to be asked of them, or what is going on behind the scenes, because so much is kept secret. At least now there’s the internet, although the strong culture in Rigpa is to ignore or dismiss anything negative found there. We now know from Olivier that Rigpa spent a lot of money trying to deflect attention from the negative information on the internet. How can the student check the teacher out when the teacher’s organisation is actively hiding and distorting information?

We can learn a lot from trying to understand how someone could leave after twenty eight years. We should also try to understand those who stay. Some can’t find a way out, but others want to stay. In my experience many are only managing to survive by practising “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” and are are happy to be reassured by the Dalai Lama support soundbites we now know were written by an expensive crisis communication agency.

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tenpel says:
March 16, 2016 at 2:50 am
BTW, having layers closer to the leader like in this case opens up the potential for various kinds of abuse – with those on the outer edges of the group having very little knowledge or experience of what it is like to be part of the privileged ‘inner circle’. Those on the outer edge perhaps envying those with access to the leader.

Some of those on the outer edge could also long for to be part of the ‘inner circle’ and this longing can give rise to all types of (unhealthy) promises or commitments just for the sake to become a member of the ‘inner circle’ and to be closer to the leader. Once committed to (unhealthy) promises or to an (unhealthy) ‘inner circle’, it will be very hard to cultivate the clarity and bravery to admit that you corrupted your own moral compass and that you made wrong decisions.

An academic wrote once that an example of multiple levels of groups that is well documented in the public domain is Ananda Marga. This person recommended a well researched article in the South China Morning Post: [www.scmp.com]

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MS says:
March 15, 2016 at 1:56 pm
In my opinion, the authoritarianism goes through the whole organisation, from Sogyal Rinpoche’s household right down to the person cleaning the center. You just do not say ‘no’ to Sogyal Rinpoche if you want to be any part of his organisation and that includes people who have only signed up for an open retreat. It includes, to give just a few examples, the young woman who feels she can’t say no to sex, down through the worker who accepts a public telling off to the student who cooperates with ever more intrusive organisational monitoring and demands for money.

dharmaanarchist, you must have seen the public humiliations. These have not stopped or reduced in recent years. New people are not immune from public humiliation if they express doubts or try to ask a question during the teachings. As successive scandals hit the organisation in recent years the Dzogchen Mandala has been increasingly tightened to try and ensure that every member follows Sogyal Rinpoche’s instructions and maintains a pure view of him. All the members had to reapply in 2014. For me, this was one of the clear signs of increased authoritarianism.

I understand that you have seen a more relaxed leadership style over the last five years or so dharmaanarchist. I honestly did not.

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Yangchen says:
March 16, 2016 at 4:17 am
Dear MS and Tenpel-la

I absolutely agree with your point of view.

Knowing SR for 30 years, it has been my experience, that the public humiliations have even become worse. I have witnessed “training sessions” of students in front of hundreds of people, which have really broken my heart. If he were a responsible teacher, he would not give his students such a hard time. Life is hard enough, why make it even harder for the students? It is really unbelievable. It is as Dharma became tainted with delusion, injustice, lack of heart, competition, fear and all the rest. What a disgrace for the Buddha Dharma.

However, being aware of interdependence, SR is not the only one to be blamed. An insatiable need for love, gratification and belonging on the part of the student has to be considered. BUT SR is supposed to be the teacher, the refuge, the guide to Enlightenment. In the case of the Dzogchen Mandala, he is demanding life long devotion. His behaviour makes it hard for the students to fulfil this commitment.

Having left SR and Rigpa I have learned to be happy in the Dharma again………..But honestly speaking, there is still a nagging feeling of unease in my heart, because after all, I have promised and somehow broken the promise. It is really hard to get rid of this feeling. However, I always remember the Dalai Lamas words regarding the teacher/student relationship. This gives me a lot of comfort and confidence.

Actually we should have compassion for sentient beings and devotion to the teacher. In this case having compassion for the teacher protects my heart.

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enpel says:
March 16, 2016 at 7:42 am
In this case having compassion for the teacher protects my heart.

Thank you for your comment, Yangchen la.

Not cultivating compassion for my abusive teachers over years was the worst thing I did. The Tibetan texts encourage not to train in compassion towards one’s teacher but in “faith and respect” (in the Theravada, your teacher is recommended as the object of metta). This Tibetan approach not to cultivate compassion and love to my (abusive) teachers didn’t help me at all. But to cultivate love and compassion to them (after I had left them) really helped me and it protects my heart too – until today. I can only agree with you.

I think, I know this feeling you describe “I have promised and somehow broken the promise. It is really hard to get rid of this feeling”. I had a deep doubt or uncertainty or feeling of guilt or so in my heart if I did right or wrong by leaving my teachers. Though I had enough reasons and knew intellectually it was right, my heart couldn’t feel it and doubted somewhat this decision deeply. It needed a really good Dzogchen master, Gangteng Tulku Rinpoche, to get rid of this feeling. When Gangteng Tulku Rinpoche taught Patrul Rinpoche’s “Words of My Perfect Teacher” in Berlin 2003, he came to the point where the wrong teachers were explained and when he taught about “Like the frog in the well”-teacher, it was as if he told what I had experienced and then he summed the whole (some people said he looked all of the time at me when he explained it while I was busy to make notes while carefully listening): “These teachers must be abandoned because they lead students onto wrong paths.” When he said this, my feeling of unease or guilt or doubt (whatever it was) was totally released at once, and I felt like a big burden has gone from my heart. This release was thorough and prevailing. The feeling of doubt or uncertainty or guilt – what ever it was – came never back because I deeply realised (though his blessing or power of speech or so), I did the right thing. It was the right decision I made when I left my abusive teachers. Though I knew it intellectually until this point my heart could not see or feel it, it was blocked due to all of this “brainwashing” and poisoned Dharma that had only been used to bind people to unhealthy teachers and their unhealthy organisations.

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tenpel says:
March 16, 2016 at 5:05 pm
Later the day it came to my mind what important teaching I received too from the Dzogchen master, HE Gangteng Tulku Rinpoche. I thought it might be good to share it because it really teaches something.

I went to Hamburg to receive Dzogchen teachings from him. Having made a certain experience in the break of the course, I approached Gangteng Tulku Rinpoche and asked him about it. He explained it and gave me an instruction what to do next time. Then I said to him: “I think I experienced this due to your blessings?” He replied: “No. This has nothing to do with me but your faith in the teachings and the lineage.” This was the first time a teacher didn’t ascribe good experiences I made to himself, he even rejected immediately the trial from my side to do so.

My misleading teachers and their followers incorrectly ascribed all the good experiences to the teacher and all bad experiences to the student’s negativity / negative Karma.

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PP says:
March 17, 2016 at 8:31 pm

SR whatever he did and is doing wrong seems to be protected and supported by almost the entire tibetan supposed elite and by political leaders…as Trungpa and his regent were.

Dear Tenpel, don’t give any importance to your experience in meditation , it takes years of deep guided practice to gain real experience and understanding of the true nature of mind, and years to be more and more ignorant playing a kind of realisation. I have no confidence in all the masters who teach in SR presence, or Trungpa before. There are still some few lineages who are not connected with what few people may think corrupted and decadent since decades. Good luck!!!

Read :
[www.strippingthegurus.com]
[www.strippingthegurus.com]

PP says:
March 18, 2016 at 8:44 am
Tenpel,i want to thank you for for this very interesting answer.
You insist on the cultural habits of tibeto-tibetans relations, and what i see from my westener side is quite different. The mutual tolerance in the tibetan “Elite” for the obvious misbehaviour of some of it’s members is schoking to me. I will give you a short example that you can find on your blog too:
[www.chronicleproject.com]
[shambhalatimes.org]
In the name of crazy wisdom so many abuses were obviously sadly accepted…as “wisdom” proofs.

Poor westeners with two karamapas but one SR ;-)
I wont dicuss about HH Dalai Lama way of life, his visit to SR, Sakyong, and so on, because i really don’t know him and i’m not interested and a little bit disgussed by mundane-political-financial activity of tibetan monks in general
.The chapter of Falk book speaks from other funny cases like Jetsnuma and others…
I wish you the best.

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Joanneclark7 says:
April 5, 2016 at 8:37 pm
PP I agree with you that the problems with Sogyal cannot be addressed without addressing the culture of loyalty and silence that continues to support him. I am many years out from my last teaching with him– and I only stayed with him for a year or so– but even today, I wish from my heart that I had never walked into a Rigpa event. Part of my problems came from Sogyal himself and his emphasis on complete guru devotion, as well as his horrid habit of abusing students in public– and part of my problems came from my own excessive need to be completely devoted and “born again.” So I do acknowledge my own culpability, my own part. But there’s little help from the Tibetan establishment regarding Sogyal’s part.

The Kagyu teacher that I turned to after leaving Rigpa said, “Sogyal Rinpoche is a great teacher– but if you want to practice here, you can do that.” And I slaved and I prostrated and I put everything I had into following this lama’s advice, but I never progressed with him– or with any of the others at that monastery. I only became more confused and more troubled. This is because I really had gone a little mad during my time with Rigpa– and they simply saw me as a mad student and they treated me very strangely, never looking me in the eyes, giving me odd, cryptic answers to all my questions etc. If they had looked closer they might have seen that I had simply been led astray by Sogyal. And that a sane, stable, straightforward, honest and authentic approach to Dharma, such as that provided by HH Dalai Lama, was all that I needed to get back on my feet, find trust and recover from Rigpa madness.

So for me, the failure of other Tibetan lamas to acknowledge the real harm caused by Sogyal’s approach to Dharma meant that they could not help me recover. They saw my problems as all my own doing. And I think the same thing happened with NKT survivors in the early years. Until other Tibetan lamas could acknowledge the harm, they couldn’t help ex-NKT.

Right now, even HH Karmapa praises Sogyal. I don’t think such staunch loyalty is helpful at this stage. At the same time, I agree with Dharmaanarchist that Sogyal does help some students. I think Kelsang Gyatso has helped students as well. And probably that is why HH Karmapa praises Sogyal. But surely at some point, harm needs to be acknowledged so that the burden is not carried alone by the survivors. We can say that a good cook helps nourish people– but if he has a bad habit of adding poison to some dishes, then we simply can’t keep giving compliments and standing loyally by his dishes. People have to be warned and supported.