LostSoul—
There are many spiritual teachers who are kind and authentic in their desire to preach about goodness and offer practices that make you feel happy or calm/peaceful.
Here is the deal though: You need to study the history of Hinduism and religions in general. Study theism and philosophy and make a real heartfelt decision if anything you come upon seems to be sincerely of deep value.
Is the Gaudiya Vaishnava concept that we are all to strive to become 14 year old gopi girl servants of a blue (very obviously indian) god strike you as a little odd? Culturally, and in terms of tradition, how much of the cheating and dancing and eating good food is really causing some sort of "transcendental" experience for you? All of those activities seems to be fun any way you slice them.
Losing taste for a certain practice etc is a normal trajectory of any activity that gives you pleasure. In the beginning, when something is new and fresh, it affords some happiness. As time goes on, that wears off.
I do not no of a single guru that has done anything for their disciples welfare that hasn't at the same time served their needs as well. Money, properties, temples, making more disciples—this is the basic business of any guru out there. It's rare to find one that does not have a shady past. Do you know the history of gaudiya vashnavism? Have you looked into the various very legitimate discrepancies in the line you follow?
Here is some advice, since you came seeking: Adopt some form of meditation or chanting if that makes you feel good. Read scriptures if they seem to offer you some insights or increase your sense of meaning. Above all, study and explore the history of your path and hinduism and mythology in india. Ask yourself: Do these myths have any bearing on your reality? Do they strike you as fanciful and a bit cheesy? Are you forcing yourself to accept and believe in things that are firmly beyond any reason and logic? Are you mixing fact with fiction and letting it dictate how you feel?
It's one thing to have morals and ethics and engage in activities that enrich your sense of wellbeing: A walk in nature, breathing exercises, reading inspirational literature, meditating, dancing, playing music, going to support groups etc. It's a whole other thing to pretend that some half man half lion incarnation is protecting you and that god comes as a green king and enlists the help of monkeys to build a bridge to sri lanka and fight a 10 headed demon king. Or that god manifests as a tiny pig from a arctic 4-headed creator god's nose and goes on to grow to a universal size hog that saves planet earth from the depths of some sort of universal ocean... the list goes on. These are stories. don't let they get to you.
A guru telling you that you are not your body does not change the fact that you have a body and should take care of it, use it and try to make it feel as good as possible. It does not change the reality that you are predisposed to drug use or have mental issue or relationship problems to work on etc.
Chris Butler and his machine of tightly nit disciples and political and business-oriented programs are the furthest thing from Gaudiya Vaishnavas. Many if not all his disciples have not even participated in a single proper initiation ceremony, read their own scriptures or visited any of the holy places associated with their paramparas and divinities pastimes. They live in a bubble in Hawaii, Australia, New Zealand or the Philippines and preach basic samkhya philosophy and so-called mantra meditation.
All these techniques are aimed at creating a mild sense of euphoria and disassociation. Nothing wrong with that per se, but it's not going to work the same every time. We are adaptive creatures and eventually things peace to have the same effect. It has nothing to do with so-called offenses to some so-called holy name. What grave offenses have you committed anyway? These are common cult techniques for keeping followers deeply entrenched in their belief system. They will tell you that you are not tasting some sort of "nectar" because yo are not firmly situated in service to your guru or chanting offensively etc. Disciples grovel around for years trying to "find" that "nectar". They go to India, they join other krishna groups, they get initiated here there and everywhere, they read "deeper" scriptures, they donate more money, they abandon relationships to follow their gurus etc. They become paranoid. What are they doing wrong? In the end they despondently throw their hands in the air and say "Oh lord, if it is your will to have me suffer like this in separation so be it! You are my eternal master..."...crickets.
I have seen devotees desperately cling to the mythology by trying to find proof of some god's existence. They post naive, scientifically baseless articles on Facebook and other places talking about so-called proof of krishnas existence because some scientist found drift wood in the region of dwarka dating to 7000 years ago, and nasa images of a land mass connecting mainland india to lanka—as proof of monkeys building a bridge to save sita. Not only is this laughable, but it's rather sad and tragic that well-meaning, often intelligent and thinking adults are going down this silly rabbit hole in some effort to "prove" to themselves and others that what they believe is the "absolute truth".
I say shake it off and do what makes you happy. That's what Chris Butler and his wife and any other guru is going: Surfing, boating, sun bathing, preaching to crowds of adoring disciples/followers, getting massages and their feet washed and buying properties and living in tin-foil homes. Do yourself a favor and pop your bubble fearlessly.
There are many spiritual teachers who are kind and authentic in their desire to preach about goodness and offer practices that make you feel happy or calm/peaceful.
Here is the deal though: You need to study the history of Hinduism and religions in general. Study theism and philosophy and make a real heartfelt decision if anything you come upon seems to be sincerely of deep value.
Is the Gaudiya Vaishnava concept that we are all to strive to become 14 year old gopi girl servants of a blue (very obviously indian) god strike you as a little odd? Culturally, and in terms of tradition, how much of the cheating and dancing and eating good food is really causing some sort of "transcendental" experience for you? All of those activities seems to be fun any way you slice them.
Losing taste for a certain practice etc is a normal trajectory of any activity that gives you pleasure. In the beginning, when something is new and fresh, it affords some happiness. As time goes on, that wears off.
I do not no of a single guru that has done anything for their disciples welfare that hasn't at the same time served their needs as well. Money, properties, temples, making more disciples—this is the basic business of any guru out there. It's rare to find one that does not have a shady past. Do you know the history of gaudiya vashnavism? Have you looked into the various very legitimate discrepancies in the line you follow?
Here is some advice, since you came seeking: Adopt some form of meditation or chanting if that makes you feel good. Read scriptures if they seem to offer you some insights or increase your sense of meaning. Above all, study and explore the history of your path and hinduism and mythology in india. Ask yourself: Do these myths have any bearing on your reality? Do they strike you as fanciful and a bit cheesy? Are you forcing yourself to accept and believe in things that are firmly beyond any reason and logic? Are you mixing fact with fiction and letting it dictate how you feel?
It's one thing to have morals and ethics and engage in activities that enrich your sense of wellbeing: A walk in nature, breathing exercises, reading inspirational literature, meditating, dancing, playing music, going to support groups etc. It's a whole other thing to pretend that some half man half lion incarnation is protecting you and that god comes as a green king and enlists the help of monkeys to build a bridge to sri lanka and fight a 10 headed demon king. Or that god manifests as a tiny pig from a arctic 4-headed creator god's nose and goes on to grow to a universal size hog that saves planet earth from the depths of some sort of universal ocean... the list goes on. These are stories. don't let they get to you.
A guru telling you that you are not your body does not change the fact that you have a body and should take care of it, use it and try to make it feel as good as possible. It does not change the reality that you are predisposed to drug use or have mental issue or relationship problems to work on etc.
Chris Butler and his machine of tightly nit disciples and political and business-oriented programs are the furthest thing from Gaudiya Vaishnavas. Many if not all his disciples have not even participated in a single proper initiation ceremony, read their own scriptures or visited any of the holy places associated with their paramparas and divinities pastimes. They live in a bubble in Hawaii, Australia, New Zealand or the Philippines and preach basic samkhya philosophy and so-called mantra meditation.
All these techniques are aimed at creating a mild sense of euphoria and disassociation. Nothing wrong with that per se, but it's not going to work the same every time. We are adaptive creatures and eventually things peace to have the same effect. It has nothing to do with so-called offenses to some so-called holy name. What grave offenses have you committed anyway? These are common cult techniques for keeping followers deeply entrenched in their belief system. They will tell you that you are not tasting some sort of "nectar" because yo are not firmly situated in service to your guru or chanting offensively etc. Disciples grovel around for years trying to "find" that "nectar". They go to India, they join other krishna groups, they get initiated here there and everywhere, they read "deeper" scriptures, they donate more money, they abandon relationships to follow their gurus etc. They become paranoid. What are they doing wrong? In the end they despondently throw their hands in the air and say "Oh lord, if it is your will to have me suffer like this in separation so be it! You are my eternal master..."...crickets.
I have seen devotees desperately cling to the mythology by trying to find proof of some god's existence. They post naive, scientifically baseless articles on Facebook and other places talking about so-called proof of krishnas existence because some scientist found drift wood in the region of dwarka dating to 7000 years ago, and nasa images of a land mass connecting mainland india to lanka—as proof of monkeys building a bridge to save sita. Not only is this laughable, but it's rather sad and tragic that well-meaning, often intelligent and thinking adults are going down this silly rabbit hole in some effort to "prove" to themselves and others that what they believe is the "absolute truth".
I say shake it off and do what makes you happy. That's what Chris Butler and his wife and any other guru is going: Surfing, boating, sun bathing, preaching to crowds of adoring disciples/followers, getting massages and their feet washed and buying properties and living in tin-foil homes. Do yourself a favor and pop your bubble fearlessly.