Dear darlof, I am no authority on anything.
I can offer advice I wish I'd heeded earlier on:
* Do what you can to run background checks on anyone you consider getting
involved with. If the teacher has published books, look at *all* of the books.
Bookfinder dot Com is a potential research tool. You can see if you can
get the books for free by inter library loan.
Why do this? Because some teachers change their background stories, some
may even suppress their earlier work. Any teacher who does this is
operating from ego, even if he or she claims to teach ego transcendence.
This page gives an example
[forum.culteducation.com]
A teacher who teaches egolessness yet markets him/herself, charges different
prices depending on how close the seat is to the teacher's podium -- come on!
*If this teacher's followers say smug or nasty things against other
teachers, or speak badly of those who have chosen to leave, beware. Ask
them if others have gone to study with other teachers and see their reactions.
Some claim to investigate a teacher for years if need be, prior to
making a solemn commitment. The Dalai Lama gives this advice. But..this
is a mistake. If you hang around a teacher and his or her disciples,
spending all that time 'investigating' you will spend so much time
in that social setting that you will form social and emotional bonds
and lose ability to make a clear sighted decision.
** First impressions and your gut feelings are of the greatest importance.
If you stay longer, you may
be distracted by other things. People may flatter you and you might
then discount those first impressions. No matter how trival it seems
to be, if something makes a jarring impression on you, trust your intuition.
Its like that old movie, Double Indemnity. A man seems to have died by accident or suicide. HIs widow stands to collect a much larger insurance
payout - double indemnity. The insurance inspector, Mr. Keys, is pressured
to close the case. All the evidence points to suicide or accident. But Inspector
Keys cannot allow himself to close the case. He says he has a 'funny feeling' that
won't go away, a feeling that there is more to the case than what
the evidence indicates.
Keys refuses to close the case, keeps driven to investigate. The widow
and her lover can't stand the suspense and betray themselves.
They murdered the man, and would have gotten away with it -- except for
Inspector Keys and his intuition, his willingness to trust that 'funny feeling'.
No matter how wonderful a teacher or group is, schedule times for
you to sit down in private and assess whether it is still as
beneficial as when you first got involved.
A teacher who runs late fails to respect you - after all, you've
gone to the effort and expense of arriving on time. Even if it is an
introductory event and is free, a teacher who arrives late is failing
to respect those present. People who leave early are the ones who refuse
to tolerate this sort of thing; those who remain are the ones who put up
with it.
* Demand to know when the event starts and when it is scheduled to end. If it
runs past your bedtime, feel free to leave. Getting your sleep wake cycle
disrupted can actually compromise critical thinking. They've learned that
sleep deprivation can hamper judgement just as much as one or two hits of
alcohol.
* Pay attention to how people behave, not what they say.
* Do people get emotionally and or socially dependant on the teacher and
the scene surrounding the teacher? Do they keep outside friendships or
drop them?
* What kind of humor does the teacher and group have. It is a very bad sign
when sarcasm is present, even if for a second at a time. It is also
a bad sign if there is ever laughter at someone's expense. A teacher who
giggles all the time, laughs all the time tends to get the audience to laugh
in unison. This is a surprisingly effective way to seduce an audience into acquiesce.
* When adult teachers act giggly and 'cute', this can be a sneaky way to
avoid answering difficult questions. To challenge an inadequate answer from
a teacher who is cutsy, charming or who had made the audience laugh can make
you feel as though you are kicking a puppy. Beware of any teacher to
uses constant laughter - this, in my opinion, generates an atmosphere of distraction.
* Never feel afraid to ask a question. If you feel intimidated or if you see
others hesitating to ask questions for fear of being laughed at or shamed,
watch out.
* Some teachers will say or do 'shocking' things or even be nasty, rude, say
things that are sexist, obscene, then claim this is crazy wisdom or their followers make this claim. In my opinion, this is BS. A wise person
does not take pleasure in throwing people off balance.
* Pay close attention to the kind of people and overall social 'scene' that
forms around an advisor or teacher. Pecking order? Is there a uniformity
in dress, behavior, voice tone?
* Do people give up pursuits that formerly interested them? A long time
ago on a now extinct discussion venue, one person described some sort of
"enlightenment" or "egolessness experience",then reported that he had formerly
loved to play guitar but had, after his experience, lost interest in
playing. I knew a woman who had been deeply concerned about social justice,
kept herself up to date on the news, to the point of reading 3 newspapers per day.
After she joined what she called a Sufi group, I mentioned how Sufis in Pakistan
were being persecuted. She stared at me as though puzzled I would even mention
such a thing. I was floored that despite calling herself Sufi, she didnt
seem to care about the plight of Sufis in other parts of the world. In the end,
the only volunteer work she ever did was to look after the building her sect
occuppied. Her world shrank.
I can offer advice I wish I'd heeded earlier on:
* Do what you can to run background checks on anyone you consider getting
involved with. If the teacher has published books, look at *all* of the books.
Bookfinder dot Com is a potential research tool. You can see if you can
get the books for free by inter library loan.
Why do this? Because some teachers change their background stories, some
may even suppress their earlier work. Any teacher who does this is
operating from ego, even if he or she claims to teach ego transcendence.
This page gives an example
[forum.culteducation.com]
A teacher who teaches egolessness yet markets him/herself, charges different
prices depending on how close the seat is to the teacher's podium -- come on!
*If this teacher's followers say smug or nasty things against other
teachers, or speak badly of those who have chosen to leave, beware. Ask
them if others have gone to study with other teachers and see their reactions.
Some claim to investigate a teacher for years if need be, prior to
making a solemn commitment. The Dalai Lama gives this advice. But..this
is a mistake. If you hang around a teacher and his or her disciples,
spending all that time 'investigating' you will spend so much time
in that social setting that you will form social and emotional bonds
and lose ability to make a clear sighted decision.
** First impressions and your gut feelings are of the greatest importance.
If you stay longer, you may
be distracted by other things. People may flatter you and you might
then discount those first impressions. No matter how trival it seems
to be, if something makes a jarring impression on you, trust your intuition.
Its like that old movie, Double Indemnity. A man seems to have died by accident or suicide. HIs widow stands to collect a much larger insurance
payout - double indemnity. The insurance inspector, Mr. Keys, is pressured
to close the case. All the evidence points to suicide or accident. But Inspector
Keys cannot allow himself to close the case. He says he has a 'funny feeling' that
won't go away, a feeling that there is more to the case than what
the evidence indicates.
Keys refuses to close the case, keeps driven to investigate. The widow
and her lover can't stand the suspense and betray themselves.
They murdered the man, and would have gotten away with it -- except for
Inspector Keys and his intuition, his willingness to trust that 'funny feeling'.
No matter how wonderful a teacher or group is, schedule times for
you to sit down in private and assess whether it is still as
beneficial as when you first got involved.
A teacher who runs late fails to respect you - after all, you've
gone to the effort and expense of arriving on time. Even if it is an
introductory event and is free, a teacher who arrives late is failing
to respect those present. People who leave early are the ones who refuse
to tolerate this sort of thing; those who remain are the ones who put up
with it.
* Demand to know when the event starts and when it is scheduled to end. If it
runs past your bedtime, feel free to leave. Getting your sleep wake cycle
disrupted can actually compromise critical thinking. They've learned that
sleep deprivation can hamper judgement just as much as one or two hits of
alcohol.
* Pay attention to how people behave, not what they say.
* Do people get emotionally and or socially dependant on the teacher and
the scene surrounding the teacher? Do they keep outside friendships or
drop them?
* What kind of humor does the teacher and group have. It is a very bad sign
when sarcasm is present, even if for a second at a time. It is also
a bad sign if there is ever laughter at someone's expense. A teacher who
giggles all the time, laughs all the time tends to get the audience to laugh
in unison. This is a surprisingly effective way to seduce an audience into acquiesce.
* When adult teachers act giggly and 'cute', this can be a sneaky way to
avoid answering difficult questions. To challenge an inadequate answer from
a teacher who is cutsy, charming or who had made the audience laugh can make
you feel as though you are kicking a puppy. Beware of any teacher to
uses constant laughter - this, in my opinion, generates an atmosphere of distraction.
* Never feel afraid to ask a question. If you feel intimidated or if you see
others hesitating to ask questions for fear of being laughed at or shamed,
watch out.
* Some teachers will say or do 'shocking' things or even be nasty, rude, say
things that are sexist, obscene, then claim this is crazy wisdom or their followers make this claim. In my opinion, this is BS. A wise person
does not take pleasure in throwing people off balance.
* Pay close attention to the kind of people and overall social 'scene' that
forms around an advisor or teacher. Pecking order? Is there a uniformity
in dress, behavior, voice tone?
* Do people give up pursuits that formerly interested them? A long time
ago on a now extinct discussion venue, one person described some sort of
"enlightenment" or "egolessness experience",then reported that he had formerly
loved to play guitar but had, after his experience, lost interest in
playing. I knew a woman who had been deeply concerned about social justice,
kept herself up to date on the news, to the point of reading 3 newspapers per day.
After she joined what she called a Sufi group, I mentioned how Sufis in Pakistan
were being persecuted. She stared at me as though puzzled I would even mention
such a thing. I was floored that despite calling herself Sufi, she didnt
seem to care about the plight of Sufis in other parts of the world. In the end,
the only volunteer work she ever did was to look after the building her sect
occuppied. Her world shrank.