Thank you annette for you strength, it gives me great inspiration and courage.
I have been under the influence of M. during a pivotal moment in my life, starting a family and carreer. All of this turned out beautifully after all, but the process was definitely tainted with the limitations of cult indoctrination, and complacence with cult like phenomena.
Although the NPD manipulation will be more strongly felt in close proximity to the narc, I feel that ALL of M.s teaching is stained by his manipulative impulses, even if he isn't aware of it.
Having been raised by a narc and NPD father, and having come to the point where I could connect the dots and apply this same framework to M., I started to recognize the retoric and reflexes of protecting ones self image in him. I might even have to say that i recognize them AS an NPD father, although I hope that this recognition, and continuing reflection on its implications, might alleviate the impact on my own children.
And then to think that I had practically started attracting followers myself, before having truly seen through any of the seriously explosive problems that lure in the darkness that surrounds the guru. I can totally see myself falling into all of the traps that Mooji and other abusive "guru's" have fallen into. I love beautiful women, especially if they find me wonderful, I love sex, even now I am thinking get me a few nice lady disciples I wouldn't mind teaching them to surrender their ego's. Temptation island. But these elements would remain comfortably hidden in the shadow of any overt identity that I would allow myself to consciously embody, all the more dangerous...
I am glad that the intuition that I had, that I wasn't (yet) enlightened enough, that I had some more negative tendancies to work through, stayed with me long enough to prevent me from jumping in head first and drowning in the swamp of self aggrendizement.
Long enough for me to come to this forum and learn the necessary perspectives to assess the dangers and improve my 'discernment'... another one of those contaminated words, btw I love how we keep subtracting letters from M.'s name, it is a great metaphor for what remains of his false guru image when the truth about him is revealed.
I have been under the influence of M. during a pivotal moment in my life, starting a family and carreer. All of this turned out beautifully after all, but the process was definitely tainted with the limitations of cult indoctrination, and complacence with cult like phenomena.
Although the NPD manipulation will be more strongly felt in close proximity to the narc, I feel that ALL of M.s teaching is stained by his manipulative impulses, even if he isn't aware of it.
Having been raised by a narc and NPD father, and having come to the point where I could connect the dots and apply this same framework to M., I started to recognize the retoric and reflexes of protecting ones self image in him. I might even have to say that i recognize them AS an NPD father, although I hope that this recognition, and continuing reflection on its implications, might alleviate the impact on my own children.
And then to think that I had practically started attracting followers myself, before having truly seen through any of the seriously explosive problems that lure in the darkness that surrounds the guru. I can totally see myself falling into all of the traps that Mooji and other abusive "guru's" have fallen into. I love beautiful women, especially if they find me wonderful, I love sex, even now I am thinking get me a few nice lady disciples I wouldn't mind teaching them to surrender their ego's. Temptation island. But these elements would remain comfortably hidden in the shadow of any overt identity that I would allow myself to consciously embody, all the more dangerous...
I am glad that the intuition that I had, that I wasn't (yet) enlightened enough, that I had some more negative tendancies to work through, stayed with me long enough to prevent me from jumping in head first and drowning in the swamp of self aggrendizement.
Long enough for me to come to this forum and learn the necessary perspectives to assess the dangers and improve my 'discernment'... another one of those contaminated words, btw I love how we keep subtracting letters from M.'s name, it is a great metaphor for what remains of his false guru image when the truth about him is revealed.