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Thoughts on Take What You Like and Leave the Rest - TWLTR

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We often hear, "Take what you like and leave the rest" - TWLTR.

This phrase is appropriated from 12 Step groups.

This phrase is safe only in the context of an honest group. In the context of a dishonest group, this phrase is a trap.

Beware. Take What You Like and Leave the Rest is safe to do ONLY in relation
to a group where you are given full disclosure of the group's history, its teachings, its power structure and its finances.

What defines an unsafe group is that you are not given this information. In an unsafe group, you are not given the full information you need to make a fully informed decision whether this group is honest and safe.

Genuine 12 Step meetings have a scheduled monthly business meeting. Positions such as treasurer and secretary are by election and rotate every six months. The district office has monthly meetings. Anyone can attend. Finances are open book.

In a genuine 12 Step group, the only condition for membership is a desire to stop drinking or using. If you have no money, you are still welcome to join. You can have any belief system or none whatsoever. Genuine 12 Step groups leave you free to have a higher power of your own understanding. There are 12 Step meetings for atheists and free thinkers.

In a genuine 12 Step group, you can ask questions. You can change your sponsor and choose which meetings to attend, which ones to stay away from. You can decide not to go to meetings.

In a genuine 12 Step group, we hear again and again that addiction is a disease of fear and isolation. We are told that will become less frightened of the people.

In genuine 12 Step meetings, we focus on similarities between people, find common ground, become at ease with people from different backgrounds.

A genuine 12 Step group gives all of these. The teachings stay the same, whether you are an outside observer, a newbie, or someone who has been a member for many years.

A genuine 12 Step group almost never encourages us to drop outside friends or family. Most participants in 12 Step groups report that over time, they reconcile with estranged family members, and develop social lives outside of their 12 Step group, becoming increasingly at ease in new social situations. unless in very rare situations where friends and family are abusive. Repat



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