Someone who survived an abusive teacher from a martial arts background gave a most informative list of ways that teacher courted and beguiled prospective recruits.
Insightful and useful.
A few names have been changed.
Insightful and useful.
A few names have been changed.
Quote
[forum.culteducation.com]
The following is shared with us by an ex-student who X attempted to curse and destroy but ultimately failed. He has since went on to rebuild a happy life successfully.
A step-by-step guide on how X turns you into one of his believers
1. Appear friendly and approachable:
Jovial, adept at cracking jokes, and making fun of himself, X will create an image that he's fun to be with, showing interest in your interests and becoming your best pal.
2. Display the image of a sage:
X has his students around him behave with total obedience and submission. He will also repeatedly recount his encounters with the late (baba, sheikh, guru, murshid, whatever) and how supramundane their relationship is. Furthermore, we are constantly reminded on the seemingly supernatural events around him, implying his power and extraordinary status. The overall purpose is to instill awe and respect in you, so that you begin to believe how lucky you are to have the opportunity to meet such a “high Lama”.
3. Invite you to attend his “Dharma teachings”:
By this time, if you are still not in awe and respect of him, he would have most likely left you alone for you are not the “chosen one”. As you indeed attend his teaching, he will quote the (Teachings) but based on his own interpretation.
Prior to your arrival, information of you would have been gathered by asking your introducer.
(Bolded by Corboy for emphasis. This introducer is likely to be a close friend or an advisor whom you utterly love and trust. You cannot imagine that person would tattle tale about you and that your trustful disclosures would be used in this manner)
During his teaching he will give you the impression that he knows all about you without you telling him, so you feel that his teaching is great as it strikes a chord with your current life situation, and be be interested in going for more. And before you know it, you will be...
4. Taking refuge:
PY would use slogans such as “A human body is hard to attain, and the Buddhadharma is hard to come by" to imply how rare your encounter with him is, and how you should treasure this opportunity now.
(Or you may be told your karma in this life is specially auspicious that you met such a rare Master, and such a chance will not come again. Or you may be told you two met in a past lifetime and you have a special destiny. You may be told the Master has had dreams or visions about you - the ruses are many.Corboy)
Should you stubbornly refuse to take refuge with him, he may flare up, but alas there's nothing more that he can do to you. Knowing that he shouldn't destroy the relationship he has with you as there's always another chance in future, he will try to loosen up the tension by being jovial or cracking some jokes.
5. Maintaining control over you and your loved ones:
As you become more involved X will use humiliation, induce shame, and remove your ability to make decisions as "Lama knows best". That in whatever you do, you should always first consult your root guru.
He is very skilful in manipulating your emotions, rendering you helpless and tattered as you cling onto his very joy and anger. Total control over you is his way of ensuring the strength of his organisation and its financial sustenance.