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Re: REAL LOVE

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It’s now a year on since Real Love UK closed its doors. To replace their planned ’12-month program’ they substituted it with a program to unhook people from their excess dependency on Real Love and into a better psychological place. However, Real Love lives on despite Pete and Nikki Uglow giving it up.
Kimberley Stretthill has taken over from where Pete and Nikki left off with her group, called Real Love Europe. It’s a bit difficult to find as it seems to be promoted on closed and secretive pages on facebook and not publicised in the same way the UK ‘Real Love Company’ was. Kimberley is Greg’s favourite person and loves lying in his lap naked. Greg’s wife Donna does not like this going on all the time when she comes to the US, but Kimbo is such a big fan and follower of Real Love and is intent on supplying Greg with whoever she can get to him for an expensive ‘intervention’.

Groups don’t seem to be publicised openly like they were prior to the close down. Yet Real Love goes on. Some people woke up from their enthrallment and realised they had been in a cult and are in deep shock, realising that they have no life or people in their life to go back to – as they were ‘coached’ to remove all non-RealLove people from their life (partner, parents, children, family, friends, coworkers, hobbyists – everyone). Stopping the constant RealLove ‘immersion’ into all things Real Love 24 hours a day also causes psychological distress (or mental cold turkey) as those leaving try to figure out their life. But some trundle along trying to keep up the Real Love façade without all the dependence, and with a strictly limited world in which only those still committed to RealLove can be part of. To cope with this extreme life some have chosen to disassociate from the real world as much as possible (short of living in rural isolation!!). This means disengaging from social media and having no contact with non-RealLove people in order to keep the idea of bliss and happiness going. Those who had not quite captured RealLove or who were ‘difficult’ and ‘needy’ were just ejected from any further help or indeed the 12-month rehashed program.

The RL coaches have all been busy reinventing how they will deliver RealLove within their normal coaching offer. Pete and Nikki are working on ‘infidelity’ which they claim they can cure with religion in 3 days!! They’ll clearly be focusing on Gregs books on marriage and victimhood as their base. Pity the people who go to them to save their marriage who’ll be told that they’ll have to go to the US and pay several thousand pounds for an intervention where they’ll have to lay in the arms of Greg Baer naked and tell this strange man that they love him, and then call him daddy. Ben Leppier is working with marriage – both prior to marriage and after the big day. His focus will clearly be Greg’s books on dating and marriage. This is the ‘mormon’ way folks. NO holding hands, hugging, kissing or sexual activity until the wedding night. Heaven help anyone who just falls in love with ‘being in love’ and the concept of love and who finds on the wedding night that they don’t find a connection in ‘real’ terms, with one or the other not wanting to be kissed, touched or to have sexual relations with the other. Greg promises some sort of unbelievable magic if you do things his way – step-by-step by way of his instructions. And if two people find they are not really compatible after this fantasy journey? They have to stay with it – they have to ‘not like it/dislike it and live with it’. Another coach, Tara, has continued with her work in the business sector and uses the RealLove in These two, Pete and Ben, have failed in business many times and keep coming back with another ‘get rich quick scheme’ but this time, since being a part of RealLove and becoming Mormons, they are merely reinventing the RealLove Cult as a new business, instead of a bonafide business, and using former RealLove adherents to write glowing reviews for them. Another coach, Tara uses the Workplace as her focus. This is where RealLove does do genuine ‘Large Group Awareness Training’. Imagine going to work and believing you are getting some sort of workplace training and find out you’ll be doing RealLove instead!! Imagine the horror!! Kathryn was the first to introduce Greg’s transformation from holding being clothed to holding being done naked. She’s held groups in her home, and while these are not now publicly publicised, its known that she still holds groups and promotes RealLove. There were some Wise People who were avidly into the RealLove Parenting aspects when it was run by Pete and Nikki and it’s not sure whether this area is still being pushed out.

So sadly, RealLove in the UK is not yet dead and buried forever.
What is alarming is that it has become a lot more deceptive than what it was, and will serve to draw people in to Greg Baer’s ideology through smoke and mirrors that are far less obvious. Instead of people actively being pulled into groups and engaging directly with the Cult, they will be participating in bonafide coaching which will sneakily draw them in to RealLove in a more deceptive way. Imagine having coaching for infidelity or marriage and ending up as part of your therapy sitting in Greg Baer’s lap and becoming a Mormon. Let’s hope people can see through this deception a lot easier than when RealLove was set up the way it was last year.

Are people happy and ‘living the life’? Judging by those who have left, RealLove became a nightmare and a chore and not what it promised on the label. Being ‘deconstructed’ by untrained people and rebuilt into someone different is an odd form of learning how to be a loving person – to give as well as to receive. Love really is one of those things that you learn about by doing it. No need for complicated processes, books, routines, groups, interventions etc. Just do it. But without all that constant guidance does it have the magic it professed? And how long can one go on with two identities before something has to give. The cult identity works better when its being dominated and controlled in some way whereupon the original identity can be overshadowed and silenced. What happens when the control goes away? I guess is one becomes highly defiant and continues to over-absorb in RealLove by the process of total immersion, then the cult identity might continue to be in the ascendant. However, if one does not engage in the immersion process, how long would it take before there was a dichotomy of conflict between the real identity and its gut instinct and that of the cult identity and its ideology. Most people haven’t woken up and are still believing the fallacy and defiantly and stubbornly sticking together because they so desperately want RealLove to work and don’t want to comprehend that it’s a Cult. They don’t want to face the fact that it was a scam and that it’s not ever going to work. Some are inevitably so determined that they were not fooled and that RealLove is not a cult that they will stick with it and stick with it despite the contrary. They will believe that those leaving are just being a victim or have been splashed by outsiders. They will keep trying to tell themselves that they are living the RealLove dream and are in total bliss and happiness while deep down they know that they are not and their instincts are telling them that it is all a great big farce. The financial and personal investment has been incredible in some cases that admitting it was a cult and a scam is just too embarrassing so they will deny their gut instincts and keep believing. Even wives and husbands of coaches (daddies and mummies) are questioning RealLove and starting to see how idiotic and pathetic the whole organisation is.

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