Hi Dondrup is powerhungry imposter,
I understand.
Please, please find some emotional, moral and spiritual support near you.
It genuinely helps the deprogramming process, and getting back to a firm sense of reality.
This is super important, because all cult leaders work by destabilising a person's sense of reality.
Building a good sense of positive stability in yourself is a real way of fighting back.
It's perhaps the only real way.
Like they say: "The best revenge is to live a wonderful life".
Also, it's very helpful to find a specific method to move your thoughts onto building your life back to where it should be when you find yourself thinking too much about your experiences there.
There's videos on YouTube about "changing your state". Tony Robbins is well recognised, and explains this in clear ways.
Part of the damage PY in particular causes, is to program people to be psychologically haunted by their experiences after they've left.
I've heard him boasting about his capacity to achieve this.
(Pls note: I mean haunted psychologically, in memory and emotion, not in any other way).
Don't fall into the trap of thinking he is more powerful than he is.
The feeling of being haunted by him IS A TRICK he has played on you.
It's like a stage magician: it's not real, although it looks real.
Remember: Only those without power abuse others.
This is essential to remember!
Remember at all times: he is a bully because he is weak.
If you ask around, I'm sure you'll find someone who has experience in helping people recover from the specific pain and damage you've experienced during your time in this cult.
Don't be embarrassed to do this.
We've all been there.
Truly, for now, concentrate all your efforts, and your thoughts, and feelings, as much as you can, on healing yourself, and gaining a firm sense of stability and solid reality.
Whenever you find yourself getting angry or feeling threatened (which are both very natural feelings), think about what good things you can do for yourself.
Then do them, right then.
They can be small things: drink a good cup of coffe, listen to a good piece of music, go for a walk in nice place, go see a friend.
They can also be longer-term things: Doing exercise (like swimming) is very good.
Singing is very powerful healing - especially singing in choir.
Minimise further damage to yourself by concentrating on doing positive things that make you feel stable and good.
There is also positive in all bad experiences.
Your appreciation of this will grow over time, but I promise you it is true.
You can hold onto that truth when things seem dark.
From what you say, you are at the start of your recovery.
Like all newly escaped POWs, you're going to have PTSD, and it will take time to feel better.
Give yourself that time.
Address your PTSD with professional help, and positive habits.
These days, there are very effective tools people can give you to free you from PTSD.
You'll be surprised at how much better you feel!
Once you are stable in yourself, once you no longer feel haunted or threatened, then you will be a position to decide what action you feel is right.
If you make decisions about this now, you are doing so from a position of weakness. This will not lead to a good outcome.
Get strong and stable and happy first.
Be very gentle with yourself.
know that I'm thinking of you, and hold you in my heart.
I understand.
Please, please find some emotional, moral and spiritual support near you.
It genuinely helps the deprogramming process, and getting back to a firm sense of reality.
This is super important, because all cult leaders work by destabilising a person's sense of reality.
Building a good sense of positive stability in yourself is a real way of fighting back.
It's perhaps the only real way.
Like they say: "The best revenge is to live a wonderful life".
Also, it's very helpful to find a specific method to move your thoughts onto building your life back to where it should be when you find yourself thinking too much about your experiences there.
There's videos on YouTube about "changing your state". Tony Robbins is well recognised, and explains this in clear ways.
Part of the damage PY in particular causes, is to program people to be psychologically haunted by their experiences after they've left.
I've heard him boasting about his capacity to achieve this.
(Pls note: I mean haunted psychologically, in memory and emotion, not in any other way).
Don't fall into the trap of thinking he is more powerful than he is.
The feeling of being haunted by him IS A TRICK he has played on you.
It's like a stage magician: it's not real, although it looks real.
Remember: Only those without power abuse others.
This is essential to remember!
Remember at all times: he is a bully because he is weak.
If you ask around, I'm sure you'll find someone who has experience in helping people recover from the specific pain and damage you've experienced during your time in this cult.
Don't be embarrassed to do this.
We've all been there.
Truly, for now, concentrate all your efforts, and your thoughts, and feelings, as much as you can, on healing yourself, and gaining a firm sense of stability and solid reality.
Whenever you find yourself getting angry or feeling threatened (which are both very natural feelings), think about what good things you can do for yourself.
Then do them, right then.
They can be small things: drink a good cup of coffe, listen to a good piece of music, go for a walk in nice place, go see a friend.
They can also be longer-term things: Doing exercise (like swimming) is very good.
Singing is very powerful healing - especially singing in choir.
Minimise further damage to yourself by concentrating on doing positive things that make you feel stable and good.
There is also positive in all bad experiences.
Your appreciation of this will grow over time, but I promise you it is true.
You can hold onto that truth when things seem dark.
From what you say, you are at the start of your recovery.
Like all newly escaped POWs, you're going to have PTSD, and it will take time to feel better.
Give yourself that time.
Address your PTSD with professional help, and positive habits.
These days, there are very effective tools people can give you to free you from PTSD.
You'll be surprised at how much better you feel!
Once you are stable in yourself, once you no longer feel haunted or threatened, then you will be a position to decide what action you feel is right.
If you make decisions about this now, you are doing so from a position of weakness. This will not lead to a good outcome.
Get strong and stable and happy first.
Be very gentle with yourself.
know that I'm thinking of you, and hold you in my heart.