Beware of any situation where you feel you are emotionally hostage to any agency providing care for your loved ones.
To be hostage is far more than appreciation for or dependence on a valued service such a therapist, a school for your children, your own training program, an agency that cares for your elderly parents, or a job that finally finally meets your needs.
To be hostage is far beyond appreciation, far beyond dependence.
If, this moment, your gut is feeling sweaty as you read this, you may be held hostage by a situation and dread having your fears confirmed.
To be hostage is to be in a state of fear so profound that you do not want to admit just how afraid you are - or how angry you feel.
Hostage situations are where you fear you or your child or parents cannot survive outside the situation itself. You fear this because of high exist costs.
*Your spouse or partner not understanding why you are making a big deal over all this
* A child or parent who is heartbroken losing friends or care providers -- do I want to compromise their welfare because I am getting the creeps?
*The angst of looking for another school or care facility all over again - thought that you were done with it.
*Financial costs
*Loss of services you've come to rely on
* Loss of the routine and stability you've come to rely on
* Loss of friendships you've formed with other parents at the school (unless they turn out to be real friends who stand by you)
These exit costs are what make parents utterly, anguishingly vulnerable if they
have doubts and misgivings about a valued facility caring for their dependants.
In a hostage situation you feel as though you are in a situation that has no outside. A room that had an entrance but, once you stepped in, all doorways and windows have vanished. You may be socially and intellectually brilliant but in the hostage situation, primal fear has snuck in and slowly colonized your mind and emotions.
Women are usually the ones who become heavily involved in support of schools for their children and facilities for eldercare of their parents -- though today more and more men are in this situation as well.
If a cult operates or infiltrates a school or care facility you're dependent on, you might never get involved with the doctrines of the group, but over time your appreciation slowly might mutate into hostage syndrome, like wood that,
under unusual and specific conditions becomes petrified.
Recognizing that your own self respect is being conpromised exposes you to a predicament with high exit costs. You're no longer reliant on the services but your tie to the school or care facility has acquired sky high exit costs. You
have a fear you never had before. And you don't want to admit this to yourself.
Your child or elders are dependent. You have a routine going that supports your work and your marriage and perhaps (miracle!!!!!) your wallet too.
To exit all that because you are getting the creeps seems crazy and unreasonable.
So most of us are gonna suppress our doubts and hope we are mistaken or that things will get better. Few people will validate our concerns; many will invalidate them.
You may feel scared to consult someone outside the situation, this may feel disloyal -- another sign that you are in a situation that owns you.
All this indicates you're being held hostage to something. Talking to someone outside the situation will preserve your adult dignity and autonomy.
Rick Ross, CEO of Cult Education Institute got involved in this work when he discovered a cult had infiltrated his grandmother's nursing home.
[www.abc.net.au]
"Q How did you end up being a cult expert?
A My grandmother got me involved. She lived in a nursing home that was infiltrated – that is, the paid staff were – by a particular fringe religious group that targeted the elderly. "
Waldorf schools are notorious for concealing information about their doctrine when offering school services to parents.
You deserve to know the actual complete doctrine behind any school or facility where you pay for services and, often volunteer your time. If you do not know this, you are expected to follow a set of unwritten rules which is crazy making.
Our Brush With Rudolf Steiner
by Sharon Lombard
[www.waldorfcritics.org]
Women (and, increasingly, men) can get hostaged into bad situations because of their roles as parents and caregivers. If women rely on services or institutions (schools, eldercare facilities) and the agencies and personnel do a wonderful job, a tired mother or daughter has high exit costs if over time she gets powerful gut feelings
that something is seriously amiss.
Women are usually in primary caregiver roles along with work and usually feel tired and guilty juggling these three roles - though today, more and more fathers are in this situation as well.
If someone seems to be doing an affordable wonderful, wonderful job helping us care for our elderly parents, educating and caring for our children, we are very dependent on them. We make friends with other parents there. We will not want to examine any doubts or misgivings we have.
But if you become afraid to examine your own fears and doubts, you are emotionally enslaved, held hostage even if you are not a member of the church or sect which runs the facility.
You get into an inmate mentality, and lose full access to your mind and emotions both of which you need to be a fully functioning adult, partner, parent.
If you find yourself getting a painful sweaty feeling in your gut when something comes up that raises your own doubts or questions -- misgivings and emotions you do not want to have -- this signals you are in a situations wher you feel trapped. You feel trapped because the you fear the exit costs of leaving are more than you, your child or your parents -- and your WALLET - can bear.
People may laugh your doubts away, make you feel foolish. They may even joke sure they are in a cult.
Laughing things away is a highly effective way of invalidating your thoughts and emotions. Using humor strategically to deflect an adult's anxiety, anger, fear is disrespectful.
If you feel guilty about even thinking of going to someone outside of the situation and asking questions about the facility, whether others have had the same worries you now have -- feeling guilty and scared at the more thought of doing outside research is itself a RED FLAG that something in you fears
you are in a hostage situation -- a situation where you fear the exit costs
are more than you and your family can bear.
You forget you do have options. Talk to people outside the situation.
The remedy for this is finding fellowship outside of the situation. You will be amazed at how much relief you feel.
To be hostage is far more than appreciation for or dependence on a valued service such a therapist, a school for your children, your own training program, an agency that cares for your elderly parents, or a job that finally finally meets your needs.
To be hostage is far beyond appreciation, far beyond dependence.
If, this moment, your gut is feeling sweaty as you read this, you may be held hostage by a situation and dread having your fears confirmed.
To be hostage is to be in a state of fear so profound that you do not want to admit just how afraid you are - or how angry you feel.
Hostage situations are where you fear you or your child or parents cannot survive outside the situation itself. You fear this because of high exist costs.
*Your spouse or partner not understanding why you are making a big deal over all this
* A child or parent who is heartbroken losing friends or care providers -- do I want to compromise their welfare because I am getting the creeps?
*The angst of looking for another school or care facility all over again - thought that you were done with it.
*Financial costs
*Loss of services you've come to rely on
* Loss of the routine and stability you've come to rely on
* Loss of friendships you've formed with other parents at the school (unless they turn out to be real friends who stand by you)
These exit costs are what make parents utterly, anguishingly vulnerable if they
have doubts and misgivings about a valued facility caring for their dependants.
In a hostage situation you feel as though you are in a situation that has no outside. A room that had an entrance but, once you stepped in, all doorways and windows have vanished. You may be socially and intellectually brilliant but in the hostage situation, primal fear has snuck in and slowly colonized your mind and emotions.
Women are usually the ones who become heavily involved in support of schools for their children and facilities for eldercare of their parents -- though today more and more men are in this situation as well.
If a cult operates or infiltrates a school or care facility you're dependent on, you might never get involved with the doctrines of the group, but over time your appreciation slowly might mutate into hostage syndrome, like wood that,
under unusual and specific conditions becomes petrified.
Recognizing that your own self respect is being conpromised exposes you to a predicament with high exit costs. You're no longer reliant on the services but your tie to the school or care facility has acquired sky high exit costs. You
have a fear you never had before. And you don't want to admit this to yourself.
Your child or elders are dependent. You have a routine going that supports your work and your marriage and perhaps (miracle!!!!!) your wallet too.
To exit all that because you are getting the creeps seems crazy and unreasonable.
So most of us are gonna suppress our doubts and hope we are mistaken or that things will get better. Few people will validate our concerns; many will invalidate them.
You may feel scared to consult someone outside the situation, this may feel disloyal -- another sign that you are in a situation that owns you.
All this indicates you're being held hostage to something. Talking to someone outside the situation will preserve your adult dignity and autonomy.
Rick Ross, CEO of Cult Education Institute got involved in this work when he discovered a cult had infiltrated his grandmother's nursing home.
[www.abc.net.au]
"Q How did you end up being a cult expert?
A My grandmother got me involved. She lived in a nursing home that was infiltrated – that is, the paid staff were – by a particular fringe religious group that targeted the elderly. "
Waldorf schools are notorious for concealing information about their doctrine when offering school services to parents.
You deserve to know the actual complete doctrine behind any school or facility where you pay for services and, often volunteer your time. If you do not know this, you are expected to follow a set of unwritten rules which is crazy making.
Our Brush With Rudolf Steiner
by Sharon Lombard
[www.waldorfcritics.org]
Women (and, increasingly, men) can get hostaged into bad situations because of their roles as parents and caregivers. If women rely on services or institutions (schools, eldercare facilities) and the agencies and personnel do a wonderful job, a tired mother or daughter has high exit costs if over time she gets powerful gut feelings
that something is seriously amiss.
Women are usually in primary caregiver roles along with work and usually feel tired and guilty juggling these three roles - though today, more and more fathers are in this situation as well.
If someone seems to be doing an affordable wonderful, wonderful job helping us care for our elderly parents, educating and caring for our children, we are very dependent on them. We make friends with other parents there. We will not want to examine any doubts or misgivings we have.
But if you become afraid to examine your own fears and doubts, you are emotionally enslaved, held hostage even if you are not a member of the church or sect which runs the facility.
You get into an inmate mentality, and lose full access to your mind and emotions both of which you need to be a fully functioning adult, partner, parent.
If you find yourself getting a painful sweaty feeling in your gut when something comes up that raises your own doubts or questions -- misgivings and emotions you do not want to have -- this signals you are in a situations wher you feel trapped. You feel trapped because the you fear the exit costs of leaving are more than you, your child or your parents -- and your WALLET - can bear.
People may laugh your doubts away, make you feel foolish. They may even joke sure they are in a cult.
Laughing things away is a highly effective way of invalidating your thoughts and emotions. Using humor strategically to deflect an adult's anxiety, anger, fear is disrespectful.
If you feel guilty about even thinking of going to someone outside of the situation and asking questions about the facility, whether others have had the same worries you now have -- feeling guilty and scared at the more thought of doing outside research is itself a RED FLAG that something in you fears
you are in a hostage situation -- a situation where you fear the exit costs
are more than you and your family can bear.
You forget you do have options. Talk to people outside the situation.
The remedy for this is finding fellowship outside of the situation. You will be amazed at how much relief you feel.