Loyal Love, Anguished Testimony -The Two Faces Bo Lozoff

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Lozoff's guru is the now-deceased Neem Karoli Baba, whom Lozoff claims to have seen in a dream when he was 8 but never met. Author Ram Dass described Baba in his biography, Miracle of Love, as a "master of abuse" who sheltered criminals but also had sex with his devotees. Baba tormented devotees with "playful" abuse such as making arbitrary and often conflicting demands and humiliating them publicly, as a means to "loosen the minds" of followers.

Catherine Wessinger, professor of The History of Religions and Women's Studies at Loyola University in New Orleans, said Baba's biography is relevant in analyzing Lozoff's behavior.

"He's got a spiritual calling, or he feels he does," she said of Lozoff. "He feels he's following his guru in terms of the service he was doing, but also it's possible he was following his guru in terms of sexual activity. He just seems blind to the fact that these women were not in a position of having much choice. Their choices were pretty limited, given their circumstances. He doesn't really see that."

The sexual power dynamic between Lozoff, a spiritual teacher, and the woman parolee and other female acolytes was at best unhealthy and at worst abusive, according to Wessinger and another religious studies expert.

Sexual yoga and tantra "can be abused," Wessinger said, adding, "Ideally, it's about two partners engaged in spiritual practice together. The inequality in these relationships [at Kindness House], and also the lack of knowledge on the part of the women, would have put them at a disadvantage. I don't see where it would have been spiritually beneficial to the women where they weren't equal partners in that sexual and spiritual relationship."

She said Lozoff's insistence that he was a "mystic," and not a teacher, was specious.

"Lozoff is claiming he's not a guru, he's not a teacher—he's claiming to be a mystic. Yet, how would these women have known anything about sexual energies, tantra, chakra, unless he taught it to them? That would have put him in a teacher role."

Timothy Miller, professor of Religious Studies at the University of Kansas and an expert on intentional communities, said a common problem among all faiths is for leaders to have unchecked power.

"I think it's bad for people to be in a position of leadership where not only do they have authority and power, but also they have people looking up to them and telling them how wonderful they are."

He said that, in an environment of adoration, it's hard to "keep your bearings."

"If he [Lozoff] set down these rules, and expected people to follow them, there's no reason to think he didn't intend to follow it himself, originally," he said. "But things change, and you get carried away. And people are sexual beings, men and women alike. It's a temptation that's there."

Miller said having a mystical calling is common across religious beliefs, and in the proper perspective, can be beneficial.

"What becomes a problem is that you decide, therefore, you're superior," he said. "It can make you think 'I'm so spiritually advanced that the normal rules don't apply to me.'"

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Going off about Lozoff

Editor's Note: Our Aug. 27 cover story, "The two faces of Bo Lozoff," generated significant response from supporters and critics of the spiritual leader. The Indy stands behind the story; we made two corrections (see note on story).

Shortly after the interview with Lozoff, we received and confirmed information that he had contacted one of our sources by e-mail and phone, pressing her to discuss with him why she approached the Indy. The Indy also received e-mails from Lozoff and his supporters asking us not to run the story.

Before the story was published, Lozoff contacted his supporters via e-mail, criticizing the Indy and suggested "if they feel so moved" they should write letters to the paper. This isn't to say that all the supportive letters were prompted by that e-mail, only that there was an attempt to organize such an effort.

A full transcript of the interview between reporter Matt Saldaña and Lozoff is posted on the online story. There are more than 50 comments from readers online. More letters will be printed next week.

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Melissa Lozoff
Durham

The writer is Bo Lozoff's daughter-in-law.

I was a tremendous admirer of Bo Lozoff, the Prison Ashram Project and Kindness House. I met him and the staff in 1996 and began volunteering regularly, as I revered their simple lifestyle, devotion to service and spiritual practices very deeply. Shortly after I began volunteering, Bo created a Spiritual Order that I became a novice and then member of. I did not take the precepts, requirements or vows lightly and was delighted to have found a structured, accountable mechanism to give my spiritual life a greater emphasis.

In fall 2002, I began dating a woman whom I had met while volunteering at Kindness House. Within a very short period of time I discovered that she had been involved with Bo sexually and romantically. I was crushed, outraged, in a state of utter disbelief.

In the weeks following, there was a major damage control effort prompted by Bo and endorsed by the board: how this was all sacred, spiritual and mysterious. I went on to marry this woman in haste despite a resounding amount of information that suggested I might want to wait. I look back now and see that I was in a haze of naivety and spiritual hypnosis. I take full responsibility for this.

Yet I never heard a word from Bo or any member of the Board. No "Sorry, buddy, no hard feelings." These acts are not, in and of themselves, inexcusable or irreparable. But what is excruciatingly violating and traumatizing is the silence. Bo had no accountability for his actions to me whatsoever. And, perhaps even more frightening, no accountability to the Board.

My marriage has all but dissolved. I don't want to imply that Bo is the sole reason, but I've never been able to put that incident behind me. I hope someone or something can help Bo. I hope I can open my heart and trust again.

Bill Wagner
Hillsborough

I have volunteered at Human Kindness Foundation for over five years, mainly reading and responding to a portion of the 500-plus letters they receive weekly from prisoners. I know what Bo's writing means to them. Many of these inmates have opened themselves up to spirituality after reading Bo's book We're All Doing Time. In the forward of that book, the Dalai Lama writes, "It is futile to harbor hatred and ill-will even towards those who abuse us."

Unfortunately, it appears that Mr. Saldaña and some of the people interviewed for the article are coming from such a place of hostility. I don't necessarily agree or disagree with Bo's unconventional style of spiritual healing. Nor do I dismiss the suffering that some individuals feel over what happened to them in their relationships with Bo. However, I believe that lashing out at him and HKF with such malice is counterproductive. Such enmity will negatively affect the work of HKF, and all organizations that promote spirituality and service to humankind.

I sought Bo's help when I felt completely stuck in my life, precisely because I knew him to be unconventional and that he would think outside the box. We met together several times in his office (which did have a window) and spoke at length. I credit him with helping me on my spiritual journey and encouraging me to continue to work at my current relationships, including the one with my life partner. I am forever grateful not only to Bo, but to HKF for following their calling to serve God and humankind.
RB
Durham

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I'm the woman in the article who arrived in 1999. I really don't think Bo understands the harm he has caused; otherwise why would he continue to minimize and invalidate my experience so much? For Bo to call our relationship "mutual sexual behavior" is not taking into account the power differential and my prior history of abuse. Bo describes the situation as "painful and confusing to us both," whereas I'd call the fallout downright devastating. My life and my marriage have mostly been a mess since I left Kindness House, and while I've done a tremendous amount of personal healing, my marriage is also ending from what I consider the toxic fallout of this situation.

The only reason I approached the Indy is because I don't want other women (or men, for that matter) to be hurt. Yes, this is a private, personal matter, but Bo has a very wide reach, thus my inclination to go with a public venue and warn followers who are not aware of Bo's other side. People who came to KH as vulnerable as I did deserve to know (even now) what they're getting into, since Bo does not have any checks and balances on his behavior.

The fact that Bo engaged in deceitful behavior that took advantage of me emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and sexually, not just once but over a sustained period of time, and not just with me but with other women, is a violation and betrayal of relational trust that must be condemned and condemned loudly and publicly, as the scandal of pedophilia within the Catholic priesthood has taught us. As the gay community often reminded us during the days when public support for AIDS victims was weak, "silence = death."

Name withheld by request
Chapel Hill

As a volunteer and friend of Human Kindness Foundation for 15 years, and a constant visitor to Kindness House over the lifespan of that community, I am absolutely certain that Bo Lozoff has never "psychologically terrorized" or been physically violent with another human being.

The parolees who came to Kindness House brought plenty of their personal issues into the daily life of the community, to the extent that often its other members were not able to get their own work done. Bo never stopped caring about, supporting and showing incredible generosity to anyone who came to Kindness House, including specifically those who "came forward with allegations."

It is tragically easy for someone who has no direct experience of the circumstances, and is crediting only one side of the story, to create an impression of what is already assumed. And for the public to then assume implications to be truth. Bo Lozoff has given the whole of his life—every iota of it—in service to others. I don't know of anyone else about whom that could be said.