There seems to be 2 reallove cult message boards but in case you have not read my previous post on how to get someone out of reallove here is what I wrote:
Suggestions if someone you know is involved with the reallove cult.
1. Do not attack or criticise reallove or Greg Baer. This only creates hostility and you will be seen as the enemy.
2. One of the principles of reallove is that couples totally agree on money decisions. You may need to be firm in not agreeing to big money being spent here if that is your truth. Remain in your integrity and truth.
3. From a place of fun and humour you can help your friend see the glaring falseness in paying big money to get “unconditional love.”
4. Be very clear yourself on what dependence is and what co-dependence is. If someone is dependent on Greg Baer or a reallove coach that is still co-dependence.
5. Get clear about “transference” and understand clearly why therapists have always refrained from providing the love that their clients need.
6. Give your loved one time in this. The Greg Baer “I will be your Daddy, sit on my lap and get a hug,” shtick wears off before long on anyone willing to maintain any self-awareness. It may be something that they need at this particular moment.
I will just add a few things that i think are helpful.
Do not make reallove evil or bad. These are just struggling people with real problems trying to find their way.
We humans want everything to be black or white. They are not. Reallove has some good principles and some crap. It's a mixed bag.
Truth has a way of winning. When, in a fun and happy way you point out the glaring inconsistencies in this group the truth has to win.
1. Paying money to Greg for "unconditional love" is a lie. It's not unconditional if you are paying $50 a minute. Wake up.
2. Stop trying to control others. Have your own boundaries on what you will do and let others, your son, husband, whoever do what they want. Adults get to do what they want, even be in a reallove cult.
3.If you are married you need to both agree on financial decisions and if it is money being spent on reallove the group will try to slide around their own principle on this but know it is there in their own material.
4. Understand the difference between love and approval. Love is what we feel internally. Approval is what we get from others. If it's coming from others and if you are looking for something coming from others, you are simply looking for approval. Approval is not unconditional love. Having someone say, "I love you," is getting approval not getting unconditional love.
5. If anyone thinks they are getting unconditional love from this group, stop paying money to them and see how long they care about you.
Suggestions if someone you know is involved with the reallove cult.
1. Do not attack or criticise reallove or Greg Baer. This only creates hostility and you will be seen as the enemy.
2. One of the principles of reallove is that couples totally agree on money decisions. You may need to be firm in not agreeing to big money being spent here if that is your truth. Remain in your integrity and truth.
3. From a place of fun and humour you can help your friend see the glaring falseness in paying big money to get “unconditional love.”
4. Be very clear yourself on what dependence is and what co-dependence is. If someone is dependent on Greg Baer or a reallove coach that is still co-dependence.
5. Get clear about “transference” and understand clearly why therapists have always refrained from providing the love that their clients need.
6. Give your loved one time in this. The Greg Baer “I will be your Daddy, sit on my lap and get a hug,” shtick wears off before long on anyone willing to maintain any self-awareness. It may be something that they need at this particular moment.
I will just add a few things that i think are helpful.
Do not make reallove evil or bad. These are just struggling people with real problems trying to find their way.
We humans want everything to be black or white. They are not. Reallove has some good principles and some crap. It's a mixed bag.
Truth has a way of winning. When, in a fun and happy way you point out the glaring inconsistencies in this group the truth has to win.
1. Paying money to Greg for "unconditional love" is a lie. It's not unconditional if you are paying $50 a minute. Wake up.
2. Stop trying to control others. Have your own boundaries on what you will do and let others, your son, husband, whoever do what they want. Adults get to do what they want, even be in a reallove cult.
3.If you are married you need to both agree on financial decisions and if it is money being spent on reallove the group will try to slide around their own principle on this but know it is there in their own material.
4. Understand the difference between love and approval. Love is what we feel internally. Approval is what we get from others. If it's coming from others and if you are looking for something coming from others, you are simply looking for approval. Approval is not unconditional love. Having someone say, "I love you," is getting approval not getting unconditional love.
5. If anyone thinks they are getting unconditional love from this group, stop paying money to them and see how long they care about you.