Hey Rama—
I think it's safe to say we all have suffered a large chunk of physical and mental anxiety at the hands of these cults. They in no little way have contributed to a deep sense of guilt, shame, anger, frustration, paranoia, debilitating stress, and emotional strain—that has seeped into all facets of our lives: Work, family, relationships, etc.
Kids waking up at 4am, taking cold bucket showers and huddling in a room to chant a single mantra over and over while having zero outlet to express themselves uniquely, ask questions or even let themselves feel certain emotions and feelings—all of this warps the mind and a healthy sense of development and trust and freedom to explore the world and learn about it in your own way. It's drastically reduced if not obliterated.
I personally suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. It took me years to shake the idiocy of these cults teachings about the mind, sex, society, science, mythology, and so called spirituality. Gurus sat on giant piles of money and slobbering disciples who were afraid to question and seek their own and their families well being. Kids were shipped off to distant schools run by unqualified teachers, no counselors, and taught deeply disturbing ideas and myths. The fallout is astronomical. Many of the boys I went to school with were already damaged goods when they got there. Many more left completely confused and socially crippled.
When your father started to listen to "karmi music", he was hardly able to enjoy himself. He was in no doubt finding himself deeply conflicted and stressed out about displeasing some blue pervert god and his earthly representative, the tin-foil guru. When your dad surfed or saw that you were becoming more independent and distant from the cult, his heart sank in deep dissatisfaction and sorrow. I recall many times of sheer panic and anxiety when I wrestled with my growing distaste for the hare krishnas. It threw me for a loop both mentally and physically. Having a fanatical mother to compound the stress I felt by her constant concern for my "spiritual wellbeing" and her criticism of anything not related to her guru and path made it all that much more earth-shattering.
Your father was under deep stress—as both a family man, a business man and a slave to butler's needs. Your family was moved around, forced too live on welfare or on next to no money. Your family had to constantly be ridiculed or put on the spot in front of other devotees. All these things create social havoc and stress.
Look at Mahabhagavata das and his poor family. How many times has he been put on the spot by his guru, made two feel worthless and uncomfortable. He ran businesses for him, has been a loyal slave and a great family man?—raising his kids, supporting his family and living a conflicted life of mental slavery too butler. His son, a good buddy of mine, had been so royally fucked by these cults that he spent the better half of his life jumping from one group to another—seeking a sense of sanity in the only place he knows. It's like any other cult or religious group. At a certain point you don't know how to live without it. Anything you do outside of it leaves you with a deep sense of guilt or confusion.
Your fathers heart gave out. And the cult had everything to do with it. Even his adherence to a vegetarian diet or vegan diet. Since when has a european persons diet consisted of pure vegetation? It's your choice to no eat meat of some sort, but genetically, your dad would have likely done better with an omnivore diet. Everything your dad gave up: A lifetime of bonding with you over music, skating, literature, art, etc. He gave up his ability to think freely, read and explore ways of being that are unique to his personality. Instead, he got caught up in the web of Butler. What should have been a passing show that allowed him to explore some eastern ideas of philosophy, turned into a full lifetime mind warp of believing that the goal of existence is to become a 10 year old village girl that (ahem!) dances with a blue god for eternity.
I think it's safe to say we all have suffered a large chunk of physical and mental anxiety at the hands of these cults. They in no little way have contributed to a deep sense of guilt, shame, anger, frustration, paranoia, debilitating stress, and emotional strain—that has seeped into all facets of our lives: Work, family, relationships, etc.
Kids waking up at 4am, taking cold bucket showers and huddling in a room to chant a single mantra over and over while having zero outlet to express themselves uniquely, ask questions or even let themselves feel certain emotions and feelings—all of this warps the mind and a healthy sense of development and trust and freedom to explore the world and learn about it in your own way. It's drastically reduced if not obliterated.
I personally suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. It took me years to shake the idiocy of these cults teachings about the mind, sex, society, science, mythology, and so called spirituality. Gurus sat on giant piles of money and slobbering disciples who were afraid to question and seek their own and their families well being. Kids were shipped off to distant schools run by unqualified teachers, no counselors, and taught deeply disturbing ideas and myths. The fallout is astronomical. Many of the boys I went to school with were already damaged goods when they got there. Many more left completely confused and socially crippled.
When your father started to listen to "karmi music", he was hardly able to enjoy himself. He was in no doubt finding himself deeply conflicted and stressed out about displeasing some blue pervert god and his earthly representative, the tin-foil guru. When your dad surfed or saw that you were becoming more independent and distant from the cult, his heart sank in deep dissatisfaction and sorrow. I recall many times of sheer panic and anxiety when I wrestled with my growing distaste for the hare krishnas. It threw me for a loop both mentally and physically. Having a fanatical mother to compound the stress I felt by her constant concern for my "spiritual wellbeing" and her criticism of anything not related to her guru and path made it all that much more earth-shattering.
Your father was under deep stress—as both a family man, a business man and a slave to butler's needs. Your family was moved around, forced too live on welfare or on next to no money. Your family had to constantly be ridiculed or put on the spot in front of other devotees. All these things create social havoc and stress.
Look at Mahabhagavata das and his poor family. How many times has he been put on the spot by his guru, made two feel worthless and uncomfortable. He ran businesses for him, has been a loyal slave and a great family man?—raising his kids, supporting his family and living a conflicted life of mental slavery too butler. His son, a good buddy of mine, had been so royally fucked by these cults that he spent the better half of his life jumping from one group to another—seeking a sense of sanity in the only place he knows. It's like any other cult or religious group. At a certain point you don't know how to live without it. Anything you do outside of it leaves you with a deep sense of guilt or confusion.
Your fathers heart gave out. And the cult had everything to do with it. Even his adherence to a vegetarian diet or vegan diet. Since when has a european persons diet consisted of pure vegetation? It's your choice to no eat meat of some sort, but genetically, your dad would have likely done better with an omnivore diet. Everything your dad gave up: A lifetime of bonding with you over music, skating, literature, art, etc. He gave up his ability to think freely, read and explore ways of being that are unique to his personality. Instead, he got caught up in the web of Butler. What should have been a passing show that allowed him to explore some eastern ideas of philosophy, turned into a full lifetime mind warp of believing that the goal of existence is to become a 10 year old village girl that (ahem!) dances with a blue god for eternity.