I hear that you are attempting to bring some love and understanding to this conversation, Lb. And I'm sorry that, despite your request, I still dismiss you as a cult follower.
The reason is because I know what it's like. I stood there in that place where Uma could do no wrong--after all, she was Truth itself. Her words, assimilated and taken as dogma by me. I know what it's like to argue to the hilt about Uma's love and intentions; the changes that she brought about (which were "not yours" but everything bad that happened you had to take "self-tesponsibility" for). I know what it's like to stand in that place.
And I know what it's like to stand on the other side.
It's hard to describe and it's taken literally years of therapy to reclaim, but there is a genuine freedom of thinking that is not possible when you are entrenched in the actual dogma (no matter how much she or you claim she doesn't have) of being deeply influenced by someone that you are ultimately trusting to know you better than you do.
Sovereignty. That's the word. And I thought I had during the times I spent around Uma, but I was existing in a reality construct that was not actually real.
So, yeah, I dismiss what you say, because you're actually not in your right mind. And it may take you years to see that, and you may not want to, and I guess that's ok though I feel sad for the actual freedom you'll miss.
And the way you state it here...about how no one can "cause" a negative experience for you...sure, I get that. And, that's also a line of thinking that could easily keep you in an abusive situation. "Oh, that's just my daddy wounds that make me traumatized when he beats and rapes me." That kind of thing. And when people see her spitting on someone and call it a blessing, or knock someone to the ground and call it a transmission, or semi-publicly humiliate people and say "it's all for you" or "you do it to yourself." ...there's a problem there. A delusion.
It sounds like maybe you haven't had an overall traumatizing experience with Uma. And maybe you have but are in denial about it. I was. I was taught, and bought into, being grateful for psycho emotional abuse. My responsibility is that I bought into it. I said yes to that. And it's been a long haul to understand the why's and how's of that for myself.
I've seen Uma call people "insolent foola," "fucking pussies," "willfully ignorant," god there were so many more but I can't think of them right now. Somewhere I have them written down.
Again, maybe she's changed, but i doubt it, and I think people should be aware of her dark side, which she says is "all for love" but I think is actually "all for the love of her."
The reason is because I know what it's like. I stood there in that place where Uma could do no wrong--after all, she was Truth itself. Her words, assimilated and taken as dogma by me. I know what it's like to argue to the hilt about Uma's love and intentions; the changes that she brought about (which were "not yours" but everything bad that happened you had to take "self-tesponsibility" for). I know what it's like to stand in that place.
And I know what it's like to stand on the other side.
It's hard to describe and it's taken literally years of therapy to reclaim, but there is a genuine freedom of thinking that is not possible when you are entrenched in the actual dogma (no matter how much she or you claim she doesn't have) of being deeply influenced by someone that you are ultimately trusting to know you better than you do.
Sovereignty. That's the word. And I thought I had during the times I spent around Uma, but I was existing in a reality construct that was not actually real.
So, yeah, I dismiss what you say, because you're actually not in your right mind. And it may take you years to see that, and you may not want to, and I guess that's ok though I feel sad for the actual freedom you'll miss.
And the way you state it here...about how no one can "cause" a negative experience for you...sure, I get that. And, that's also a line of thinking that could easily keep you in an abusive situation. "Oh, that's just my daddy wounds that make me traumatized when he beats and rapes me." That kind of thing. And when people see her spitting on someone and call it a blessing, or knock someone to the ground and call it a transmission, or semi-publicly humiliate people and say "it's all for you" or "you do it to yourself." ...there's a problem there. A delusion.
It sounds like maybe you haven't had an overall traumatizing experience with Uma. And maybe you have but are in denial about it. I was. I was taught, and bought into, being grateful for psycho emotional abuse. My responsibility is that I bought into it. I said yes to that. And it's been a long haul to understand the why's and how's of that for myself.
I've seen Uma call people "insolent foola," "fucking pussies," "willfully ignorant," god there were so many more but I can't think of them right now. Somewhere I have them written down.
Again, maybe she's changed, but i doubt it, and I think people should be aware of her dark side, which she says is "all for love" but I think is actually "all for the love of her."