Doing It in Public -- Brad Warner at Hardcore Zen
[hardcorezen.info]
This entire essay is worth a peek.
Most of the time, our entry into an abusive group or abusive relationship happens
as a result of our receiving flattery.
When we think of social control, most of us have visions of thumping jackboots, chanting mobs, charmismatic types with glowing eyes and velvet voices.
Praise? Flattery? Compliments? Being listened to attentively?
Few of us imaging these as active ingredients in recruitment.
Here is an excerpt.
[hardcorezen.info]
This entire essay is worth a peek.
Most of the time, our entry into an abusive group or abusive relationship happens
as a result of our receiving flattery.
When we think of social control, most of us have visions of thumping jackboots, chanting mobs, charmismatic types with glowing eyes and velvet voices.
Praise? Flattery? Compliments? Being listened to attentively?
Few of us imaging these as active ingredients in recruitment.
Here is an excerpt.
Quote
...sensitivity to praise and to criticism is directly tied to our survival instinct. Any insights you might have that go against the prevailing understanding are going to be attacked because they will appear to be dangerous to the survival of the greater tribe of which you are part.
Heaping praise upon these insights is a subtle form of attacking them. By praising someone you are able to control that person since that person will naturally want to keep being praised. Praise means acceptance and acceptance means survival. All praise comes with an unspoken threat of someday withholding that praise and thereby threatening your survival.
It’s very nearly impossible to rise above this. Even knowing how this stuff works is no assurance you won’t fall prey to it. The instinctual processes work on a level that is inaccessible to the thinking mind. These instinctual processes are unaffected by what you know intellectually and continue to operate in spite of whatever knowledge you have about how they function.