Re: False Teaming - a method to be aware of

I'm learning to not automatically default to "nice" when strangers contact me. Otherwise I could be easily swept away.

I can be assertive, watchful, relaxed while being alert. If someone physically or metaphorically sidles up beside me and starts defining the two of us as in the same boat, I don't have to be nice or smile or agreeable. I can walk away from the boat.

Forced teaming can involve cajoling, a seemingly casual friendliness. If the person has negative motives, they may work to hurry things up, get me in that boat and on down the river of manipulation and possible danger quickly.

Quote

Forced Teaming:
This term was developed by Gavin de Becker in his book The Gift of Fear. A false loyalty is imposed on the target by the perpetrator suggesting to the target that they have a urgent common problem (and implying they need to start working together right away). This leads the target to forget about normal risk assessment. Even if the two people have a common problem, it is unlikely that 1) it is really urgent, 2) they have a best solution in common, and 3) joint action is necessary. This technique is meant to bypass healthy distrust and in real life is almost never benign. Unfortunately many movies employ forced teaming as a plot device for characters to get to know each other, which may desensitize people.

[www.abuseandrelationships.org]

In regards to the manufactured sense of urgency, I've had sales people try to use that on me.